by Brian Cannone

Whenever anyone competes in a competition your confidence comes from two sources; you and your friends, family and fans! Your friends and family come out to support you and help cheer you on in the competition to watch you bring home victory. With that being said however, you have to be careful of how you and your posse react if you do not win the competition.

Too often when we do not win we hear “you should have won”! If you should have won, why didn’t you? This is an important factor you must remember and keep in mind that if you fail there is a reason behind it. The show’s judges have a job to do; they are to follow the judging guidelines to find the candidate that best inhabits the winning qualities. You also have to be careful how you handle the situation should you not win the title you were striving for. A lot of times your following will say things to make you feel a little better about not winning and in doing so can do your ego irreparable damage.

When you are competing in the show and at the end you do not place at the top, do NOT consider it as a loss. It is a lesson learned! Yes, of course taking home the title you wanted is the ultimate victory, but just because you lost the event does NOT mean you have lost. You need to analyze your situation and your performance. Ask the competition director if you might be able to see your score cards to see which areas of the competition you excelled and which you did not come to par. If you have lost the event then you should be THAT much more determined to win the next time around. This should make you work harder and prepare longer for that goal. If you do not take losing as a lesson and then take the necessary steps in avoiding a loss next time around, you will find that you will become bitter and that you will NOT win with a negative attitude.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the judges are there for a reason. Each judge has been selected for the qualifications that he or she possesses to help find the winner of the competition. They do not just pick random people off of the street, throw on a judge’s badge and let them choose whomever they want. If you have lost in a competition, there IS a reason why the new title holder won! A judge doesn’t look at you and say “wow! They should win! But I’m going to select this under qualified and untalented candidate instead!” This does not happen. A judge has selected the winner for a reason, your question to yourself should not be “why did he/she win?” your question should be “why didn’t I win?” That is the most important question in which you need to seek out the answer.

You also need to keep your head clear when it comes to your fan base. Your friends and family mean well and of course they want YOU to be the winner of the show. But you should take everything that they say with a grain of salt. If they tell you “you did great! I just know you will take home the win next time!” then this opinion is one that you should listen to. However, if they tell you “you should have won. The judges are morons” this is definitely NOT the kind of energy or opinion you should listen to. If your friends and family say anything negative about you not winning you need to correct that immediately. If you do not you are going to end up with a sour attitude and an unmatched ego to boot. Another member of your fan base you should watch out for is the ‘frenemy’. Your friend that will appear to support you in all aspects, but will be there in your ear when you do not win telling you how ugly or unfit the winner is. This is the type of individual you need to leave at home and it does not help you to have them rooting on your sidelines.

Yes, it is an emotional hardship for any contestant who does not win. But this does not mean that you need to take this loss as a negativity. If you remain bitter and upset over your loss your ego is only going to get unwarrantedly bigger and your personality more unpleasant. This is NOT a winner’s attitude and if you maintain this particular attitude you will NOT win. The attitude you carry prior to the announcement of the winner is crucial to yourself, your fan base, and to those who are looking up to you. You can remain positive and above the pettiness that always seems to find its way into competitions. If you do find yourself feeling negative you need to just redirect your thoughts to the positive side. This means remaining positive to those who came out to support you and to those who did not come that you are relaying the competition to. But the most important person you have to remain positive with is yourself. Tell yourself that you rocked the stage! That you did your best but next time you are going to do even better to get that win! When you maintain a positive attitude like that it leaves no room for negativity within yourself or from your friends and family.

When you are in a competition the number one reason why you are competing is because you want to win. This is the purpose of a competition and it is human nature. Perhaps the most used phrase from your following is, “you should have won”. This mentality needs to leave your head before you even enter any competition. If you do not win there is a reason behind it. The judges know what they are doing and have been selected for that reason. You need to keep a positive attitude and consider any loss to be a lesson you need to learn. Positivity, confidence and humility go a long way!